2012 Gender differences and Violent crimes

(Excerpt taken from: Contemporary Criminological Issues, Department of Criminology, University of South Africa, 2009)

“Research (Bartol & Bartol 2008:380) cites that women are more likely to perceive aggression as a breakdown of self-management strategies than men are. To women,aggressive behaviour represents a personal failure to hold onto standards of behaviour which they set for themselves, and as a result they see aggression and violent behaviour in a negative light. Men on the other hand are more likely to perceive aggressive behaviour as a means of dominance and imposing control over others; therefore, they see violence and
aggression in a more positive light.”

Aggression, female submission and other traits within the human design, which are seen as normal and acceptable within our society, simply because they exist within us, are not necessarily what is best for us. If you observe the world you will notice that we allow human traits and designs to direct us, instead of realizing that we are the directive principle and do not have to accept our limitations as who we have become as our pre-programmed designs.

Within the Desteni I Process we work with stopping pre-programmed designs, as they exist from the starting point of abuse towards ourselves and others. Within the courses we find the designs behind characteristics such as ‘aggression’, ‘fear’, ‘ego’ etc., and we defuse the design through writing tools, self-forgiveness and self correction, within self responsibility. We have found for ourselves that we are not dependent on these human designs to live here in the physical as effective human beings. These designs create conflict within people, which – as you can observe in the news -create conflict within our world in how we live and treat each other.

We have walked the Desteni I Process for many years already and have successfully stopped such design characteristics which serve no practical purpose for self to live here in the physical reality, as a functional, self confident, self appreciative individual.

Within the Desteni I process I have walked through my pre-programmed design of Depression, Aggression and Anxiety, therefore I understand firstly how difficult it is to start applying oneself within the tools, however I have seen my own transformation as well as the transformation of the students participating in the courses. Each person is assigned a buddy, who supports them through their lessons and a mother buddy who oversees their progress through the courses, while at the same time assisting in the development of the necessary self-support skills, to utilize the lesson material within all areas of your life.

DesteniIProcess testimonials:

Self Support to Push Through Writing and Procrastination Backchat

stoppingjoekou.blogspot.com/2012/03/self-support-to-push-through-writing.html

Listen to The Body– How to Sort Out Acne

http://fidelisspies.blogspot.com/2011/06/listen-to-body-how-to-sort-out-acne.html

3 Years without Drugs

http://christophedegroote.wordpress.com/2011/05/29/3-years-without-drugs/

Writing as Self Support – My Fingers have a mind of their Own.

http://andrewgablehere.wordpress.com/2011/12/29/writing-as-self-support-my-fingers-have-a-mind-of-their-own/

How to Overcome Fear of Spiders

Giving up sugar

http://iamruben.blogspot.com/2011/05/giving-up-sugar.html

Writing Oneself to Freedom!

http://jozienfokkert.wordpress.com/2011/06/13/writing-oneself-to-freedom/

2012: “I forgive myself… I forgive myself…”

http://equalitywalk.blogspot.com/2012/03/2012-i-forgive-myself-i-forgive-myself.html

For more blogs and videos from the Desteni I Process members: http://desteni.org/income-plan-recruiters/page:2

http://desteniiprocess.com/

Demonology Forum Perspective: Get to the Core Issue

Demonology Forum Perspective: Get to the Core Issue

Original Post: http://demonology.co.za/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=715&p=1324#p1324

When I faced the point of ‘deliberately sleep in so that I can reduce the amount of time I must be awake because when I am awake I must be with myself and face myself’ – I realized that unless i want to remain the same person for the rest of my life as this pattern I am allowing, I must make a definitive change by no longer accepting the ‘patterns’ which were living expressions of myself that were not serving me. Thus I had a choice which was to continue as I was, battling and fighting with myself for the next 30+ years or I bring the inevitability of change here now and stand up within the point NOW. Therefore within choice i realized… I had no choice.

So, the next question is does one want to change. Here I suggest go to the core point around which all these patterns ‘circle’. If you observe these words: “I don’t care” – you will notice that this is one of the primary comparison points within yourself. So observe why it is that you don’t care about yourself. Without addressing these ‘core’ points around which the other patterns circle as ‘outflows’ of the original allowance – you will find that ones SF and SCS will not stand the test of time, because you are still holding onto the point of I don’t care about myself.

I suggest for a moment to simply focus on this point in detail. Write it out within specificity, look at all the layers back in time to the age that this point first started and then follow the time line through your life, where through the years you participated in and ‘added’ layers to the original point. Show in your writings for example how the point of I don’t care ‘mutated from one simple reaction or an acceptance about self into what it is now. How did the point change, who was involved, what justifications throughout the years were used to ‘fuel’ this pattern to where it is now etc…

Demonology Forum Support: Trapping Myself

Original post: http://demonology.co.za/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=715&p=1315#p1315

I suggest also start keeping a backchat diary – which you post here. This will allow you to write out your daily patterns within backchat – which will allow you to directly see where and how to ‘fine tune your self corrective actions’ or where your self forgiveness was not specific enough.

An example of an effective backchat diary:

day 1: 26 August 2011

I was getting redy to sit down at the computer to start with project A. A thought comes up – why dont you rather let someone else do it because you dont have enough experience. I looked at this point – and realised that two days ago I had already done self forgiveness on ‘giving up’.

What happened next was that I felt this sinking experience in my stomach, that I was lying to myself and others by participating – and that even though I had applied SF on giving up – the reality is that I have not applied the tools that is covered in the material within project A – therefore I should rather back off and let someone ‘reliable do it.

I then decided to not complete the project based on this principle – therefore had decided my SF was not valid.

This is an example of how one identifies a backchat pattern, applies SF – but again allows a new pattern of backchat to direct one into not applying the original Self forgiveness and self-corrective statements.

Now one writes a – one could say ‘report’ on the above backchat pattern:

Instead of following through on the SF and SCS already applied by walking the self correction of ‘starting and completing project A’ I allowed myself to stop and I allowed myself to manipulate me with new backchat into the original point of giving up.

Therefore today’s focus is on applying SF on the allowances, as well as following through on the new pattern instead of the self correction. then I apply the self correction on this pattern by ‘starting and completing project A.

1. Therefore one has identified the new pattern (which is the old pattern slightly changed)

2. The justifications used.

3. When during the Self correction did you stop and what did you change to be able to go 4. into the new pattern- this would be a new thought that could either be the justification, a promise, a threat, a delay, a discomfort etc.

4. What Self Forgiveness Statements were not effective – here you go through the SF written out the first time and you observe how your decisions this time indicate which statements did not yet support the actuality of what you were doing. For example let us say that the first time you write SF such as:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself to other people who I am participating in within project A

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself to other people who I am participating in within project A, because I believe that they understand the material better.

When you are in the pattern again and the ‘new thought’ that comes up is ‘but you know someone who works on project A should also be able to fluently explain the material.

This is now a ‘new’ version of the backchat – used by the mind (as yourself) in an attempt to stop you from participating. Therefore you would identify that the self forgiveness above was not specific enough because you also believe that people should understand the material but also fluently explain the words.  You will now write down what SF was not specific enough according to the new events.

Now you identify in the same way what self corrective statements were not effective enough. For example if the first time you applied SF and SCS you wrote:

‘when I want to walk away from a project, I stop, I breath, I stop any and all thoughts – and I continue focusing on the project by remaining where I am and continuing with the practical steps to complete the project.

Now in this report you have realized that you did not follow through on the self-corrective statements because you did in fact find a reason, get up, walk away and not start and complete project A. So, now you will write down that sentence under: self corrective statements that were not effective.  As you did above for the Self Forgiveness you will now write out new self corrective statements for the new self forgiveness additions as well as reconfirming the self forgiveness statements not walked the first time.

Remember this is not a punishment – but instead a direct, clear way of aligning oneself to the actual points that require your participation to change.

By writing out the entire event, the decisions made, the justifications/excuses, the SF and self corrective statements not lived and the new SF/SCS/self correction to be walked  – one is clearly mapping the way and not allowing any confusion about what it is that one allows or what is to be applied within Self-Correction.

‘Going to Church’ is consensual Demon Possession

This morning I drove past a church at the end of a service. People were streaming from the box shaped building back to their cars. The look I observed in their eyes could be perceived as that of spiritual contentment or even enlightenment. What the being had actually allowed while sitting in the church for two hours listening to the consistent drone of the minister – was consensual possession.

What you observe at first as you drive past the churchgoers is that they appear content, and that within the church they gained some form of insight, grounding, self-awareness. However if you look again at the persons eyes you will notice the following: their eyes are showing their level of information possession they just underwent within the church environment. To become religious and decide you want to belong to a religion in the first place indicates that one requires going to a place once a week where you will be told who you are and what you are here to do. You are informed of a higher purpose and a higher power watching over you, while your dark thoughts are explained away as being the cause of ‘worldly evil’. Throughout the sermon you have given permission to the institute of the church and the minister to fill your mind with information while you listen and allow yourself through a state of awareness as your belief to be possessed by and through this information. Going to church is a form of demon possession – where a religious person places themselves on a seat within a building where all the chairs are focused to the front of the building where the minister will speak from. The words are mostly empty and if one is self-honest you realise that the biblical stories of water being parted and men slaughtering each other means nothing to you. You cannot use it in your life and you most certainly are not able to change any of it. You are told from childhood to listen to these stories because apparently it is of great importance that you hear the words or else you will be condemned to hell.

Now during demon possession one will hear voices in your mind. These voices are often indicative of violent, malevolent ideas based in anger, self-content and hatred of others. To sit inside this ‘religious’ building where you are told stories of biblical history based on violence and war – is how one allows yourself to be filled with the thoughts of a demon called ‘the church’. There have been no actual improvements to man due to the church or any religion for that matter. If religion was valid it would no longer exist and man by now would have been a self honest, capable, self responsible being who considers the harm that is done to one another due to our collective actions and allowances in this world. If religion was valid it would have existed as a platform to educate people in how to stop any development of human nature (the spiritual nature of man) that is harmful. Instead you go to church and you listen to stories – thus invoking the voices of an old demon into your mind reminding you to conquer, separate, take what it yours and deny through the existence of class and religion all those who are not as fortunate as you.
The church exists as a training ground for the mind possessed where your perception of yourself and that of your family once you leave the church is that you have now done something really fantastic and that by listing to the words of the minister you have yet again for another week saved your soul from eternal damnation. The fact that you when you set your feet outside the church – back into the world where the money system causes immense suffering and contradicts the words of jesus as ‘do for others as you would do for yourself – is not considered. Ten steps from the church you return to the abuse, starvation, war, separation in the name of the ego of man.

So as you pass the church-goer on the street you see when you look into their eyes that they are now possessed with knowledge and information from the bible for another week. Most likely they will not live the words preached within the demonic training ground – they will remember most of it and when the opportunity presents itself they will tell others about how fantastic Christianity/religion is and repeat the words of the minister. This apparently makes for a strong spiritual person – one who is able to sit in the church-box for two hours, take in the words of the minister, go home and continue with their lives and at the most convenient times repeat to others what was said in the bible. So this is an example of mind possession as the church goer. You sit and stare at the minster while possessing yourself with his words because of your level of belief in the god which he represents.

Let us now compare the possession of a church goer to that of demonic possession by a supernatural being intent on taking over your mind and controlling your actions – as has been documented throughout history, and recognized by the church itself. When one becomes possessed by an actual demon you might at first start listening to the voice of the demon in your mind. He/she will explain things to you that make sense, things which you perceive to be common sense or even coming from within you or your guide/angel/god. In some cases the demon will then present your greatest fear to you while building a relationship of trust with you, convincing you that the voice itself will help you when your greatest fear arrives. Then the demon possesses the being’s mind because by now the being is listening to the voice while having their fears activated in the form of a physical possession. Now the being is thinking about their fears and usually these fears are coming from the subconscious and unconscious. The demon would simply amplify the emotions, thoughts, feeling and memories already existent within the being until the being believes the voice and is transfixed by the voice which speaks as the fear thus controlling the being. There is also a sense of trust within the person being possessed by a voice – because the person believes that their mind won’t lie to them.

Within the church the person listens to the minister as the voice that represents the all-knowing, while experiencing the fear contextualized from what the minister is saying. This the minister is impulsion through his words. You see religion and especially the church was well designed in its origin. At the start of Christianity and the church – The church wanted to control people into behaving specifically according to a code of conduct which would be at the center point of human development. The church became more powerful as it represented the only one who could:

1. communicate directly with the creator/god
2. absolve you from your evil deeds/sins
3. and ensure you a place in heaven – which is was proclaimed was where god as the creator lived.

No one knew what happened to you after death, therefore the number one question that came up within people was ‘what happens to me after death and how can I prevent my soul or that which remains of me to not be lost or dammed? Therefore the church was seen to be the steadfast governing body with regards to laying down the rules of human conduct. Philosophy and the belief in a god intertwined and man started seeking for reason and purpose through religion/belief/spirituality. In today’s time people still desire to be saved and feel like there is an answer to all their questions, while not pissing off the big guy in the sky. Therefore people will as intelligent as we claim to be –still sit in a church every Sunday starting at the minister allowing themselves to be possessed with knowledge and information. How does possession function generally in terms of the state of mind through which a being is controlled? Dimensional beings would actually exist within a person’s body however it was through the control of the mind that the demon was able to possess someone.

The church uses consensual possession to ensure that people remain trapped within hope. Therefore when you enter the church you allow yourself to be infused and inundated by ‘the holy spirit’. What is the Holy Spirit? The Holy Spirit is an energy created through belief based on an idea. It is your belief in the existence of a holy spirit which you possess yourself through before you sit down in the church. So when the church goer sits down they are already prepared mentally by feeling the energy called ‘the holy spirit’ which each person creates by themselves as a physical feeling generated by the mind.
That is why for most this varies – the religious ‘nut’ as some might call them – will completely allow this energy to fill them up as they generate the feeling to its fullest extent. One could call this the equivalent of allowing an orgasm to build up inside your body. The feeling of the holy spirit within you works on the same principle – you have an idea about your level of belief and where you are in your world which will allow you to go as deep into your religious belief as you are able to. For those who have to focus on work, activities or family care might not push this energy to its extreme. Those who proclaim themselves to be in love with god – will for example eat, breathe, live for god – and they will generate the feeling of his presence to the extent where their possession is extensive.

So continuing – the person in the church is now allowing for the religious information to evoke a sense of possession within them according to their religious conviction. Each one will allow the minister’s words to control and impress them to a certain degree. Some will take the minister’s words extremely seriously, analysing every word and arranging bible study groups just to dissect the bible. Some sitting in the church are merely there because this is all they know. They grew up being Christian and have come to accept that you don’t question your god or Christianity. They will utilise the words presented by the minister only as long as they don’t actually have to live it. Take for example a husband and wife sitting in the church. The husband likes watching porn while the wife experiences jealous thoughts towards any woman that looks at the husband.

None of the words spoken by the minister will make a difference to the actual living experience of the church goer. Some might even go as far as interpreting and filtering the word to fit into their life style. The husband that watches porn will tell you that god gave him his hormones and gave the porn star her beautiful breasts – therefore he gets to enjoy this. Surely the physical reality as it already exists is there for him to enjoy as god’s creation. The wife will explain that the sermon did cover some very valid points about not being jealous, however her husband is hers and therefore she gets to protect her marriage (which god gave to her) no matter what – which means she can kill other woman with mental daggers – and would expect the other woman to do the same in relation to her husband. It is human nature given to us by god. The contradiction between what really goes on inside people and what is professed through religion is not explained for what it is and therefore not real self honest solution can be presented and applied. No clever scientist or serious Christian – of which there are many – have been able to answer us as to why people accept and allow the exact opposite of what is written in the bible. All that is accepted at this stage is religious possession based on fear, hope, and desire for gods protection. The solution to demon-possession in any form – is self-honesty, self-forgiveness and self responsibility.

My experience with Demon Possession

(17 May 07)     Possession:

My name is Andrea and I want to share with you briefly my experience of demon possession. I had a demon follow me for most of my life. I of course was not aware of this at the time but after I was released from the demon about two years ago I actually was able to do a very fascinating thing. I was able to communicate with the demon and hear from him when he started following me and influencing my life. This was done simply put after the demon had released himself from his application through forgiveness and is now just another being working  in the dimensions (heaven)to assist us here on earth. More can be read about the transformation of heaven to be able to assist the demons at desteni-universe.co.za.  I suggest firstly referring to the FAQ section to understand the words used in the articles.

It started soon after my father died at the age of eleven, when all aspects of my life and ‘personality’ started changing drastically. The demon used my father’s death to turn my thoughts against ‘God’ and created a relationship (unknowing to me) to the stark reality that a lot of children face when they experience such a loss. The grief that I experienced as most children do was encouraged by him with specific words and extensive thoughts. From that point on I questioned religion, God and the meaning of why we even bother being here when we’re going to die lonely, miserable deaths. A couple of weeks after my father’s death his closest friend and wife came to give my mother their condolences. That evening after everyone had gone to bed I sat in the lounge chatting to my father’s friend. Next thing the demon integrated into this man and he out of the blue started fondling me. You can imagine my shock. This event of course spiraled me even further into a darker side of my personality as it was clear to me that not only can God not be trusted but neither can people. So the demon was preparing me to distance myself from God and all of life by showing me the ‘evil’ side of God’s people. That indeed people who were supposedly from God’s creation were nothing but evil, supposedly dressed as Christians. So my dislike for religion (especially Christianity) increased ten fold.

As the years went by I went into a quieter, emotionally unstable personality. During my high school years I found myself becoming distant from the other children and seeking different values to theirs. Things that they considered precision I laughed at like boys, religion and education.  This of course had a lot to do with how the demon was influencing my thought processes and my beliefs. I saw things clearly from the perspective of religion and how people are slaves. I understood many things which when discussed with other children caused them to label me as ‘weird’. I asked them (which the demon admitted he did through me) why do they go to church when people die horrible deaths all in the name of God. Now as you can see that is quite something coming out of the mouth of a 17 year old? When I finished school I was very much anti religion already yet I found paganism quite an interesting concept. I met somebody who was a Wiccan and together we delved into the art of magic and speaking to the dead (Ouija board). This became my life, a devotion to God’s, Goddesses and creating spells to punish people that did us wrong. The funny part of it was that the demon told me he was the only being that I had ever spoken to on the Ouija board, due his ability to block all other beings. You see this demon was no ordinary demon, he was quite powerful and his ‘mission’ was simply to create a world for me in which my focus was always on him. He had the ability to control my actions to such a degree that all decisions that I made were under his control. Any job that I took would fail and I would be unemployed again, sitting with my friend, playing Ouija board. This was due to me losing interest quite quickly and always resisting doing well in a job, therefore I never remained there for long. The resistance was in the form of chronic fatigue, dyslexia and the inability to focus. When I did finally find a two year job it was on a secluded farm where my main focus was just to work, with very little interaction with people.

After two years I met a guy and moved in with him. This of course was not so much to the liking of the demon as he saw me as his possession, so he decided it might be a good idea to control our relationship as well. The relationship became abusive to the point that I was constantly under verbal attack and sometimes physical. The demon would integrate into him and start accusing me of the strangest things, and then the next moment he was fine again. Sometimes he would become violent, picking me up by my neck, throwing me up against a wall and then minutes later my ex would not remember what he did. This strange behavior went on for about three years and finally I allowed the demon to possess me just to get away from the pain and fear. You must realise that while all this was going on the demon kept me in a semi hypnotic state, therefore ‘getting out’ wasn’t an option.

 The demon openly admitted to me that he was jealous and that the ‘other’ man was only there to pay the bills. He presented himself to me as a God and I believed that he was going to take care of me in this world. In my controlled state all of this of course made complete sense. We shared an understanding about this world and had decided to walk this world together. It was however not easy for him to watch the other man having to provide for me as he did not want him in my life. So day after day he would ensure that I hated this man by created the abuse and also ensuring that he was the one that I loved. Strange to hear a person talk about loving a spirit I know but if you can imagine you and me but without physical bodies, that is what demons use to be, not creations of the ‘devil’. I was able to see and hear him as he was in the form of an apparition. I had a serious contempt for humans and related completely to this demon’s experience of himself. However once things became too much in the relationship with my ex I decided to leave and it was the effect of having a possessive ex-boyfriend and a possessive demon that I finally allowed myself to be fully possessed. This was very gradual but by the time my ex decided to do something and take me for an exorcism I was sitting on my bed day in and day out possessed by this demon. When my ex would visit I would sit there naked speaking as the demon (in a man’s voice), I had fully given up and was allowing this demon to speak for me. I was often picked up by this demon, held by my neck and flung across the room. He could strangle me until I passed out. Intercourse and molestation happen often, hence the fact that I could not even leave my house. If my mother or ex spoke to me the demon would speak in his voice and mostly tell them to get lost. Often he would integrate into me and attempt to slit my wrists. I would be walking and he would drop me to my knees, standing over me laughing. I would experience intense headaches if I attempted to not interact with him. He was able to integrate fully into me and speak to people as well as walk around in my body. He could put me in a comatose state if he did not want me leaving home or if he did not want me talking to people he would put me in a trance like state. As I mentioned he was able to integrate into my ex and stand there yelling at me, then seconds later my ex could not remember what he had done. If I did not do what he told me to do he could make me vomit or pass out. If I left my house he would make me feel so ill that I would go back as soon as possible. Luckily for me my ex realized something was wrong and convinced me to go for an exorcism.

 At the exorcism the people who worked on me saw him and some experienced his effects, even before I told them what he looked like or how ill he could make you. This of course was very entertaining to the demon as exorcisms are not very successful (the demon just moves on to another body). However at the time it assisted me as I made the decision to ‘release’ myself from the demon. It was not an easy process for me as the effect of being controlled for so long stayed with me. Therefore about six months after this I yet again communicated with the demon as I one day realized he was still with me, yet keeping his distance. I had difficulty relating to people as they all seemed unaware of what is going on in this world. A demon had access to more information than you can even imagine as they could read minds and read energy therefore having unique insight into this world. Therefore having discussions with this demon were mind blowing.

I again allowed for him to step back into my life and it was quite a story to not allow myself to get killed by this demon. Realise that I could sit for hours talking to this demon as long as I always stayed only with him. Occasionally if I was not careful around him he would pressurising me into committing suicide as he wanted me to live with him dimensionally. Once it was a close call.  When I was going for my ‘exorcism’ he told me that he would cause us to have a car accident. On the way there a truck driver looked me straight in the eyes before attempting to push us of the road. At any stage I could feel his body energetically, a mass of energy with arms, a face, torso, legs. He could appear at any given moment as any apparition and many people who can see sprits would ask me who this being was that walked beside me. I have given you the basic outline of what happened, you are welcome to e-mail me if you would like more details. Until I discussed it with him I was also of the opinion that molestations and job losses were just things that people do to one another. Unless you have experienced possession yourself what I am saying sounds like a young lady who needs counseling hey? As impossible as it sounds, being picked up by dimensional hands and flung across the room is not something I would call issues with teenage traumas. What you must realise is that demons are beings like you and I that have become de-manned. Anger, sadness, grief are but a few ‘emotions’ that drive beings once they’ve passed over to become the angriest most furious of beings. So when the dimensional beings worked with them dimensionally (remember time doesn’t exist in the dimensions) you have quantum understanding and corrections. All compounded ‘issues’ existing in these beings was released dimensionally, which was not possible before as the white light did not allow it, leaving demons to roam free.

Like I have mentioned in the beginning of the article myself and the people I work with work extensively with beings from the dimensions of which some use to be demons. This is how I was able to get all the details from the demon himself. Your question to me might be; but how can heaven cleanse the demon dimension? This was not possible before because of the white light, demons were left to do what they want because it creates more fear which in turn creates more enslavement of man kind. I use the word creates because now even though they no longer exist the mind consciousness is able to become any application that is possible. Consciousness as pre-programmed systematic response can not fathom heaven standing up as we have been pre-programmed to exist in the soul construct. All it took was for us and heaven to see our own enslavement to the white light and consciousness system and from there stand up. Not all beings made it when heaven stood up as many of the older spirits would not give up their perceived power. Once the beings in heaven realized to what extent they were controlled and they released themselves (not an easy process) they were able to assist the demons. This has been quite an extensive process for all of the dimensions (heaven). In the FAQ section of the web site you can read about our creators (the Annunaki), the white light and the soul construct. Feel free to discuss this with me some more.

The experiences that I had with this demon were rather fascinating and now that I have the ability to talk to him he explains to us (we work with demons that have been released as I have mentioned) how demons use to work and why. So if any of you have had similar experiences and require assistance please feel free to speak to me. If you are not sure if you have been demon possessed but you suspect so I can speak to the being (if any) and find out. Often people don’t realise they have had demon involvement in their life as they don’t even realise the extent of demon possession. I am not religious, I work however with all beings in heaven (we speak to them through an interdimensional portal). I speak to the dimensional beings in ‘heaven’ as it is now (a lot of changes have taken place) as they are now working with us to assist man kind.   

 For the videos in which I explain in more detail ‘The possession’ visit Youtube and do a search on Andrea – or visit www.desteni.co.za for the video listing

Fearing the worst

I forgive myself for fearing that somebody will try and manipulate me without me being aware of myself and what is happening

I forgive myself for not trusting and supporting me effectively in every moment and thus allowing myself to think that something will happen to me

I forgive myself for allowing myself to worry and fear that something will happen to my dog, my cats or my fishes

I forgive myself for worrying about the ‘health’ of my dog and for fearing that he will become ill

I forgive myself for fearing that my dog might be lonely and that his boredom or loneliness might result in him becoming aggressive or ill

I forgive myself for allowing myself to ‘imagine’ events or scenarios where my dog bites another animal

I forgive myself for allowing thoughts in which I worry that my dog does might be ‘sad or depressive’, when what this is – is me seeing myself as sad or depressive

Therefore in what I fear about any of my animals is me fearing myself and what I have accepted and allowed

I forgive myself for fearing that if I do not apply myself in writing, that I will experience suppressions manifested here in my world

I forgive myself for fearing that I might make a mistake

I forgive myself for fearing other people’s responses to me – in that they might ask me to shut up or go away

I forgive myself for attaching value to anybody outside of me as a personality who I perceive through their actions or words might ‘have power over me’

I forgive myself for giving my power away through fear, by imagining situations that could happen and thus not living here in practical common sense.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to experience depression when I fear that things will happen to me

I forgive myself for allowing myself to exist as the victim personality, always fearing others and situations  - I direct me in every moment in every breath. I purify my words by being aware of what I say and why I say it. I am aware of my movement and participation in 3D

 

I forgive myself for placing value in constructs such as: envy, jealousy, better than, more than, good, applying, expressive, able, competent, clean, stable, responsible. Not that these points are ‘constructs’ within themselves, but rather how I perceive them to be is systematic and of the mind because of conditions and ideas and believes around each ‘point’

The consequences of me wanting to ‘play it safe’ is a direct statement to myself that I have no self trust.

I forgive myself for fearing speaking what I see to other people – out of fear that it would change how we communicate or change the beings ‘opinion of me’. This states that I want to exist as a personality or idea within somebody’s mind and that who I am is dependent on the minds value another being has of me. It is not that the other being has this value of me, but that within me I have given myself the value that I would like others to have of me and thus live to form this opinion in others. I stop ‘designing/creating’ ideas within myself about myself and thus stop designing all ideas within other beings. This I notice occurs like a dimensional shift when I express from the perspective of validation or bringing out an idea within the being of me – based on what they just experienced in my company – of me

I forgive myself for fearing that other people will not approve of my actions and words – this being because I don’t always approve of my own words and actions because I am dependent on my words fitting a certain picture of me – thus I don’t trust me as here

I forgive myself for fearing that if people stand up together that they might judge me of who they see me to be and thus not want me to walk with them. This fear is directly linked to how I see myself not able to walk with myself in self honesty, as I see me and my mind as separate and still allow me to hide behind my mind instead of direct me here

I forgive myself for still believing that some people are better than others and thus are more than and stand out. This is a direct reflection of my wants and needs to ‘be special, be noticed and apparently feel good’ because of some external event, word or placement of myself

Who would I be if I were not here but in a different place surrounded with different things and people. Would it change me.

I forgive myself for fearing that if I were to go someplace else I would use that as a reason to change instead of me being one and equal to me here

I forgive myself for waiting to be here as me and instead hiding in fear of myself and of self responsibility

I forgive myself for existing within my ego as the fear of rejection, fear of embarrassment and fear of getting lost.

Everything that exists within me is a feeling based illusion, thus my above mentioned fears are illusions.

I forgive myself for accepting the illusion of something happening to me. This fear is based in me not wanting to accept full responsibility for myself as I see responsibility to be – some big drama with me in the middle. So my perception of self responsibility is that it is a struggle. This is my mind allowing me to doubt me because as long as I listen to the illusion, the mind will give me reason to exist as an illusion.

 

I focus on here as the breath what I am able to touch physically, move physically and how I direct me practically

I forgive myself for using words to discharge sexual tension. Discharge or release is not necessary because if everything is here than the immediate stop of desire and need is here as the in breath.

I forgive myself for wanting to feel myself within masturbation or sex because it charges my mind consciousness system for the rest of the day

Fearing any event or being is actually fearing is the accepted and allowed nature of self as director and thus I fear that I am actually not in directive principle of myself

I forgive myself for fearing myself because I think that who I am is still dependent on what I think I need, want desire and thus am able to within this – fall back into old patterns. Last night I had a dream in which I begged an old friend I had walked away from a few years back – to please be my friend again and compromised me to have that cycle of abuse back. Thus I realised that I did not stand as what I had realised but instead fell back into self abuse. Thus I realised that points exist within me where I tend to fall back into self abuse and self compromise.

I forgive myself for accepting any form of self abuse and self compromise

I forgive myself for allowing any and all thoughts in which I fall back into self abuse.

I realise that the fact that I ‘circle’ around this one point over and over indicates that I do not want to trust me and that I do not want to just live and that my new form of self abuse and self compromise is to hold onto the idea that I might fall, I might deceive me, I might not be self honest. This is self abuse because any form of self inflicted self doubt in which I justify any form of abuse is self abuse – even the what if’s.

I forgive myself for judging myself in that I might not be who I think I should be.

I forgive myself for wanting to hold onto desires and ideas, because only suppressed desires and ideas will bring forth such self doubt instead of me living here without self blame and self hate.

I forgive myself for desiring power over people, thus in this statement realising that as long as I see the existence of power as me having some form of control over something – will I allow me to exist beneath or over any moment – and thus never just being here. I play the power game within myself of I must win over my inner room and accepted nature – instead of transforming my nature in every moment every breath as it presents itself here – without judgement.

Depression of self

This was in response to an e-mail that I had received from a Desteni forum member, asking me about Depression:

Hi

Yes as Jack mentioned I have experienced many years of extensive depression, in all sorts of ‘forms’ When I say ‘forms’ i mean, from childhood depression to adult depression, consisting of work related, money related and sex/relationship related. Gosh writing about this is actually assisting me to see all the different forms! Thanks Steve! See how openness and self-honesty actually assist in more ways then just you assisting you? Because by you assisting you, I get to assist me which means we equaliy assist ourselves as one!

Ok, so let me explain about depression and what i have experienced. i have come to understand within myself through the years that my depression was linked to self-dishonesty. Yes, whenever you depress you into a state of feeling down or sad or tired then what you are doing is stating that you have no directive principle (no direct power of self) to move and apply yourself, so taht you may ‘not experience depression. And of course that is self-dishonesty.

Now I realised also that within ‘depression’ there are factors to which I have allowed me to become depressed and these factors were pre-programmed by myself when I was Anu. Why do I say me -as Anu. Well we have to realise that Anu and co were merely showing each of us, who we really are. I mean look at Anu’s creation of this world: If he had not set us up for ‘failure’ this way, we would never quite have seen ourselves within oneness and equality as who we really are. So, was the design of man really a design or were we created in such a way so that we may become ourselves completely?

I suggest seeing as we are speaking frankly here, that you and I remember when we saw ourselves as ‘depressed’ people for the first time. You might remember a day when you realised your ‘depressed nature’ and said to yourself ‘shit man this is surely not who the fuck I am?’

So when I saw taht I was depressed as the nature of me, probably a few months ago, I also realised that it wont necesarily be ‘easy’, meaning a quick trip through the park, to sort this all out. I had realised what I had become and now what? What does one do? So I started seeing me for who i had become and each day when my depression pushes at me, as a designed pre-prgrammed button that pushes itself wherever, whever then I state clearly to myself: I will never again fall back into my old patterns. If I experience the ‘onset’ of my depression then I will move me until it goes away. Together with that I did forgiveness on who I had become (all the points of depression you realise exists within you) and also did forgiveness working through Verno’s structural resonance documents, as well as doing the forgivenessess on the forum. You will notice that depression is a sneaky thing. It comes from soo much ‘background’ chatter within your subconscious mind taht you are never even aware of what your mind is being programmed to react as. Because the subconscious runs in the background while you are only seeing the conscious thoughts and feelings, you are never quite aware even of why you become depressed!

So I did forgiveness on everything. There are examples on the forum, documents done by the dimensional beings, on forgiveness examples for: anger, sadness, mothers, fathers, family, fears, ego. I suggest run a search on the front page of the forum to find all posts on forgiveness and do all of them. When you read somebody’s post on forgiveness then I suggest take the opportunity to do your own forgiveness right there, what is relevent to you. Also while reading the Structural resonance documents, so forgiveness as you go along and see exactly what your own experience has been ‘in relation to what Veno is writing about’. You see that is the point of Veno’s articles is for each to read it and apply themselves within that according to what they see exists within them.

So for me each day I still have my moments where I slump into tiredness and depresiveness. This exists within my solar plexus area (beneath the chest area where the ribs end, above the stomach). I have from my childhood placed certain words and applications within this ‘sacred aread’ which each human has within them, where you go into when you are afraid, sad, angry etc. Each person has a ‘sacred place’ where we place words and feelings and thoughts who we project when we are afraid. My projections is my won way of fearing myself >Sounds funny I know but here goes: i project me as i am here, confident, alive, assued of myself. Then when I see who I have become before due to my assuredness and confidence then I shrink back and fall into this ‘sacred place’ where I have lost myself before. See the double conundrum bulshit? I see who I am now and I like me. Then I see who i have become before when I was demon possessed and afraid of nothing and then I state within me ‘ oh well i better watch myself from becoming afraid of who i have been before, because that was trouble for me. I never quite grasped the whole demon possession thing see and therefore I still see what i did as ‘bad and wrong and wreckless’. So with that in mind I then fall into a depresive state by seeing myself and becoming afraid. I am not saying that I would like to become demon possessed again, what i am saying is how i saw my own inner self – that is what I was afraid of. I see who i was then and that frightens me. So I go into my solar plexus filled with ideas, words and feeling about who I was and then WHAM – depression of self occurs because then I remain ‘safe’.

I suggest to you, look into yourself and write down what you fear about who you are. Remember that it is never about other people or situations, that ‘make us want to be depressed, although they do trigger fear within self: It is always about self fearing and being anxious about ME. Who will I be when I stand up for myself. Now that in itself should not scare anybody right? Well one would say that standing up for self is cool hey?

Then why do we fear it so? Well we are soo caught up in the bulshit of this world, the way we dress is designed from within our subconscious which feeds from the unconscious, the way we talk, our habits, our desires etc. then when we see who we really are ‘capable of being’ and we are still acting according to what the unconsciouss mind tells us – then we tend to sit back and rather play dumb. This is how we clear the unconsciouss see – we have to look at where the unconsciouss still directs us from being who we see ourselves to truly be – FREE from the unconscious. So, my message to you:

Don’t fear self-expression. Dont think about what you fear. The fear itself exists within your mind as an illusion. If you fear then you know that you have thoughts about the fear. I suggest apply forgiveness as suggested on EVERYTHING then state clearly to yourself that depression is only what you have accepted. Then dailey, and I mean dailey you push what you have just resisted. So, when you slump into ‘it’ then say to yourself ‘ok where did I just think about what i fear, therefore accessing my ‘special place’ within me and therefore accessing my depressive self. Then once you look back into what you said or did to bring forth depression then you do forgiveness on that and push through the resistenace of that moment. You say to yourself ‘ok I resisted this moment because of….. (do forgiveness). Then you say ‘I forgive myself for allowing the resistence within myself to exist’, then you push through the resistence by physically moving yourself in whatever form.

I realised this morning that when I slump into depression I must move me. Even if i jump out of my window screaming at the top of my lungs – that’s cool, because the movement of self through that tiredness is all that matters. You see, for me I have realised that I exist into foreverness (my own word I just created) with only me to exist AS, therefore when I see myself act depressed then i see who i wil be forever, see?

So I then discard that bulshit and I get up and I walk around the garden or i jump on my bed and laugh or i tickle Anthony until he begs for mercy, because the depression is not real. I am real as who I become as myself, but if I accept the depression as who I have become then that is what i will experience. So, I have placed this understanding within myself to dance, jump, sing whatever it takes to not experience this depression. WHy jump and sing? Well i am sure you get what i am saying already with regards to the decision that you make about who you have seen yourself to be, therefore….. the body is now showing you how to adjust yourself so that your thought generated ‘special place’ ( ha ha sounds rediculous I know) is never again in charge of sending out messages that you must act a certain way. You have now directed yourself to move and the body is there to assist you with that. That is why i jump up and down, because my body is showing me to move beyond my thoughts…Ha I see that now! Cool

i find that the only part that requires constant pushing of self, Steve is to realise in this moment and each moment who I AM. That is all

Ok, now you let me know how it goes, ok?

Cheers

Where to start?

Ok I am here on planet earth, but not everything is oukey with me. I live in an environment where I am not dodging bullets and I am able to express myself…yet I feel so strange. My beingness is not oukey. I feel that when I wake up in the mornings and throughout the day. I feel on guard and pressurised. i feel like I am not welcome here and that is an absolute illusion. I have filled my head with illusions and that comes down to one point: not loving and appreciating me. If you dont appreciate and unconditionally love and accept you, you will never feel at peace and you will never just be. Therefore I have created various illusions, by participating in my mind, of which one is constant anger at myself, which eventually manifests during the day..at other people. I beLIEve that I am doing things wrong and I believe that I am not ‘happy’.

But as i say the word happy I realise that happiness is an idea. So I will change the word to just here…with no anger, no fear and no illusions. Each person in the world is in some way creating an illusion because they want to fulfill themselves or be more or have a feeling that will make things ok. I dont indulge in worldly crap (except the occasional movie or dinner), so I will not turn to destractions like parties and drugs and numifications…to stretch out this one inevitable point. That no matter what I do, in the ‘background’ is my actual beingness. That something is wrong and that my self honesty will not accept numbness and will not let me ‘think’ I am ok when I do not unconditionaly accept me. Interesting conundrum would you not say? I create the illusion based on my beingness and my mind supports that and what is always there to point out my illusions…well my beingness. I am constantly aware that things just aint right with me. Now that could be another illusion, but this is how I currently experience myself.

So if the feeling of ‘things not being right’ is in fact an absolute illusion then how does one live so that you are free from this illusion? The starting point would of course be to write it all out, so that from there I am able to understand that which I allow. So, from here I will write about my experiences as each other person has, not to bore anybody to death, but so that i am able to actually see me. Through that I will cry, I will go ‘oooh is that why’ and I will resist through suppression. But the next day I write again, until I get everything out.