Monthly Archives: May 2011

Communicating with Parents

This post is taken from a discussion on the Demonology forum:

http://demonology.co.za/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=382

I find that the previous generations as we observe them and interact with them – serve as reminders of what we have all allowed and tacitly agreed to become as man. When I had experiences of conflict with my mother, I had to realize that I could not change her. I could firstly change how I reacted to her from the perspective of hoping for validation, acceptance and love. I forgave myself for desiring those points because I realized that no matter what was said – I would allow the conversations because I wanted something from her. I believed and desired for us to have a ‘normal mother/daughter relationship of guidance, acceptance and closeness. I realized through my own experiences that firstly Love was the blindfold-feeling which we will use to cover up facing the actual experience of ourselves and of our parents (in this case). Therefore my own experience allowed me to see where I created dependency to the point of allowing abuse within myself as that which I would take personally from what was said to me by a parent. Secondly I realized that my mother had walked her Life path, which brought her to this point and she was the result of all that we have ever accepted within this world. She was not ready to see this, therefore within my realization I was to take self responsibility for realizing the bigger responsibility in that moment.

Therefore the ‘bigger responsibility’ within that moment as what is ‘best for all’ – was for me to stop participating in energy games with my mother. After working with forgiveness, I started changing how and what I will participate in. I realized that the old forms of conversation would lead to conflict and arguments. These conversations were usually based around me wanting her to acknowledge the decisions I had made in my life, which she would not do. Secondly I was allowing my opinions of how people should live to clash with her opinions, instead of stopping within the realization that we were simply arguing and not working together to bring about a solution. Therefore when I see my mother I communicate about general things within my and her world, however I do not go into any discussions which have no real outcome, which cause arguments- there is no point. I will not communicate with a family member if the point discussed in abusive towards myself, them or anyone else. I will not discuss my life with them if the discussion becomes one of blame and anger – for the decisions I have made. If I find that (and this has happened to me) a family member abuses the conversation by attempting to draw answers from me about my life and it is done from the starting point of wanting me to live their life instead, then I do not participate.

The most difficult part I found once I identified our pattern was to stop participating. The backchat would tell me that I required them because ‘what if I lose my family’, or a backchat feeling of fear would move through me, indicating that I was simply reacting to not having them in my life. All of these points one works with in the moment by applying self forgiveness in the moment and deciding for oneself what you will and will not participate in and here you will find reactions as thoughts come up which is the mind attempting to convince you that you need family.

Within this you will find an interesting thing – as you stand up for you and apply self honesty in every moment, your family will either fall away from you or find a new ‘respect’ for who you are. Either way you are no longer accepting the old ways just because of the word family.

Seperation of the Organic Robots

I live on a farm and only go into town every two weeks or so. When I do go to town or into public venues, I notice how people experience themselves and how people interact with each other and with the system. I would say that I am aware of the way people interact with each other and the system more, due to the fact that I live outside town on a farm in a small group of people and am therefore not in the system every day as part of the system – as someone who is use to and participating in ‘ the system’.

A few days ago I went to write a psychology exam at the University of South Africa situated in the city near where I live. My ‘natural’ self-expression is to communicate with people openly, ask questions, laugh and engage people in conversations. Therefore when I walked into the area where my ‘fellow’ students were waiting to start writing their exam, I naturally started communicating with the students and asking questions about the examination etc.

The  response from the students was very interesting and after the first student I started paying attention to how the students interact with each other and myself. The reason why I first started paying attention to the habits of the students was due to the fact that the first student who I approached when I arrived, whom I asked ‘is this the exam hall for criminology? – briefly looked up , mumbled something rather inaudible just to quickly cast her eyes back down, saying ‘I don’t want to talk to you’.  I stopped and asked myself the question ‘why wont she answer me properly – maybe she was stressed about the exam’. However two seconds after me ‘thinking this’ – I see her looking up at her friend sitting two meters away and clearly and openly, without hesitation start talking and ‘chatting’. I realised that it was not because I had caught her of guard,  or interrupted her while studying, but was instead – because in this being’s mind she had decided that in that moment that I was not to be spoken to, and that her friend was ok for her to speak to.

I then went and stood in the middle of the group of students. A majority of the students were black with an average of 1 white student to 5 black students.  The same ratio for Indian to black. Some had their heads down as they were attempting to do some last minute ‘cramming’ before the exams and some were whispering to their friends. If someone looked at me I would smile openly. The response I observed, yet again was very interesting – some would flinch and you could  see the backchat saying ‘don’t speak to her, she is white and you are not supposed to speak to whites’. This backchat would have happened either as a thought or as an immediate reaction which comes from the thought that has been infused over time, as white people forced back people to see themselves as inferior. Thus passed down from generation to generation we still have inferiority and anger playing out in how white and black people view each other in the form of reactions to each other. I observed that some of the black students would look at me with anger in their eyes – therefore it did not mater whether I smiled or frowned at them – their backchat was telling them to dislike me. The White females would either use comparison as a means of ‘looking’ at me or shyness as a point of perceived class  difference. *(class= perceiving that my socio economic status would be better/ less than theirs)

We had 20 minutes to wait before they would let us into the examination hall. I decided to stand there while people were arriving and to smile and make eye contact where possible – just to see the different experiences of people. Most would respond in backchat behavior with discomfort, some would shyly smile back as if to say ‘she is smiling at me, this is nice’ and some would give me a look which says ‘don’t fucking look at me’ – which could be due to the ‘stressful’ environment before an examination or the general attitude towards ‘strangers’.

After 20 minutes the supervisor says that we may go sit inside. I sit near the front and notice how most of the students go and sit right at the back. Why are we still placing ourselves in the class room, as we did in high school? Are these youngsters still defining the outcome according to who they were in high school? A group of about 8 students come  into the room and stand for a while looking confused. You see each row of chairs represented a different subject and those who have already written a few exams know this – therefore usually upon entering an examination hall you first have to find out which row you are supposed to sit in. None of the Supervisors were nearby to ask and the students did not bother to look behind them where the seating instructions were written on the board. I decided to communicate with the students and assist them. I start speaking to the students standing two meters in front of me and say ‘what are you all writing?’ Some of the students look at me with wide eyes as if reacting to the fact that I was asking this simple question. Most decided to rather go ahead and place themselves in chairs, which could be the wrong ones, instead of just asking. Because I was writing criminology I knew which rows had been assigned to us, so I continued by asking ‘who is writing criminology?’ At that point you could see all the students deciding that to secretly sneak down the row hoping to find the right seat is much better than actually having to answer this weird lady or to find a supervisor and ask them. The one guy briefly glanced at me and mumbled something before being sucked down the row by the other students to rather ‘find it on his own’. How strange the secretive nature of the human. Now we had half an hour before the examination starts – so I used this time to ponder on the experiences I had with my fellow organic robots…

I wondered to myself why and how we as humans have gotten to such a point, where we despise having to communicate with each other. My experience of the reactions from the students was that I was not supposed to talk to them because I was not part of their world. I was either more than, less than, or potentially distrustful. I was looking at all these people and I saw humans – nothing more. We are all here as the physical – why are we not all communicating and sharing ourselves with each other? At what point did we decide that even though  we  are here in the physical equal from birth, that we should rather ignore and deny each other? It was a very interesting exercise for me because I live in a community (group) where we share and laugh and communicate. We do not separate ourselves using the mind through excuses like religion, culture, sexuality, money etc. Therefore I know when I go out my door that no matter who I walk by I will have the same response from each person. I am here, you are here. My experience with the university students was one of absolute separation. So much was going on inside the minds of these youngsters to be able to in a moment separate themselves from me, a fellow human.

I also looked at the point of the ability of these youngsters to actually rise above the pre-conceptions of the world and ‘educate themselves’ to become more than what the generations before them became. In South Africa for example it has taken many years for back people to start climbing out of the gutters and actually start supporting themselves within the system. Yet here in the University you see youngsters who are studying higher education to be able to better support themselves, yet they are actually still defining themselves according to the old belief systems of inferiority/superiority.  The system functions according to survival. Who is educating these youngsters to not accept and allow inferiority/superiority? No-one – and this is why:

The existing money system functions according to superiority/inferiority, have/have not, more/less, rich/poor, fortunate/unfortunate etc… Therefore for the Money System to exist on the morals and values that it currently does – we as the consumers have to believe ourselves to be who we are – which slots each one into the definitions I listed at the beginning of this paragraph. Therefore these children will not at this stage rise above the ultimate oppression of self, which exists as the current money system and all its definitions and value systems – because for now these children and everyone entering the system have come to believe that the system is acceptable the way it is. The reason for this is the addiction to the energy that goes with Money and power. If you can believe that you to will be rich and powerful one day – just like the person you look up to in society – then you will allow the position of inferiority to exist. Therefore most of these students exist at the beginning point of a value system – where they are only now educating themselves to get a better job and earn more money. The hope and potential existent within this, is that one day they to will have all the comforts that come with having a good job. That is the only reason why these students are there. They don’t care about the betterment of ‘the people’ – as the greedy politicians so like to shove down everyone’s throats as an excuse why they get to abuse . They don’t care about the children who were left behind in the locations, who hardly have enough to eat. These children have risen above that due to their parents being able to pay for them to study – and therefore they will ride the system and get from it as much as they are able to. I mean the example that is being set for these youngsters is the new black Elite of SA – who show that you can set yourself up in such a position where you can take or make as much money as possible. That is the new ideal of the black South African.  Therefore these youngsters still exist trapped in self belief. They will believe whatever is necessary for them to get a foot in the door to be able to make money. The way in which the students ignore each other like the plague is an example of the nature of man as greed. We are so focused on survival that we will separate ourselves from each other in the name of Money and Survival.

The question is – if these youngsters are all studying at University level – do they not yet have the capacity to start seeing and developing common sense? Do these youngsters not start questioning the current world economic and value systems to find out why we do things the way we do? Do these youngsters not look at the suffering that is caused to the millions of people, just so that the fortunate ones can get ahead in the system? As I observe the actions and reactions of these youngsters, I was wondering how much was really going on in their minds. Who was completely ignorant to the world as it really exists and who had started developing the basic ability to ask questions about the current world situations? How many of these youngsters would be open to a new world where they will have all their needs met and would never again have to believe themselves into a role just to be able to survive? Have any of us learnt anything from History – from the holocaust, from the apartheid era? Does anybody actually want the sins of the fathers to stop and never be repeated in some new abusive system?

With an Equal Money System we would first stabilize and implement one Money system which supports people equally – as part of everyone’s basic right to a dignified life. Each human in an Equal money System will be supported and will not have to spend a life time surviving. Then we will be able to start purifying ourselves from the layers and layers of self-programming  – as self belief. In an Equal Money System the first few generations will walk a process of self-purification as self honesty and self forgiveness – to let go of the old and embrace the new. Eventually as parents become the example to the children, we will see that the new generation of children will be the new  generation of human – which is Life here in full expression – not an organic robot surviving in the system. Life skills will be taught to all humans equally, as an equally agreed upon modality which supports the being while on this planet. No subject will be taught if it is not supporting an Equality based World System. Children in schools will be taught actual life skills, not how to be a better ‘thinking’ system to make more money. Such Life Skills will include the ability to read, write, comprehend, use your hands, take care of plants, animals, children, the environment, how the physical works, what supports the physical, what skills support an equality based world system etc…

In an Equal Money System a lot will change because we have decided that we want to change as a new starting point of who we are. Anyone who still holds onto the old ways which are based on the desire for power and addiction to energy of the mind – will still be supported in the Equal Money system – as the basic requirements to live and eat – however their desires will not be accommodated within an Equality based world system. Corruption and crime will not support those who have hidden desires, because those who manage on behalf of the people are the people and represent what everyone has agreed to – therefore no leader/manager/group will exist who is not doing exactly what has been set out as the manifesto of Life as what is Best For All. It is actually quite simple – if a manager/management group does not do what has been set out in an Equal life manifesto – then the person will be removed. Of course people who are placed in such positions will walk their process first, through which they peel the layers of generational through which they prove to themselves that they can be trusted to stand in that role. Therefore within the DesteniIProces we are walking ‘backwards’ in time through the layers of generational deception as the layers of the conscious, subconscious and unconscious. This is not just because we see a future which is possible for all – as ‘heaven on earth’ – but also because we are no longer accepting and allowing old patterns to direct us. Those who walk the DesteniIProcess have seen within ourselves that what we are is not best for ourselves as the fullest potential of ourselves – and therefore who we are is not what is best for all – because each one is living the deception which hold the world systems in place which allows for abuse and suffering. We have realised that this is completely not necessary. Perhaps the generations before us all thought that the world systems and the way we live is fine and acceptable – however: for those who say ‘no there must be another way’ – start by accepting ourselves as the solution. Therefore we walk the DesteniIProcess while at the same time researching an Equal Money System and how that would be implemented as an actual ‘choice’ of the human based on actual self directed consideration of all Life for ourselves, the generations to come and the planet that supports us.