Tag Archives: desteni2013

A Doomsday Activist – Life Review

ImageOriginal interview: http://eqafe.com/i/arosouw-life-review-a-doomsday-activist

What I saw within my own life experience listening to this Interdimensional being, was the point of participating and creating a life for myself in the safe space of my mind, when I could not create a safe world for myself in the external world. Leaving school I became aware that for most adults, life becomes about working 9-5, paying bills and simply learning to survive. I did not have this mind set as a desire for a life for myself. I could not see myself living the same religion, laws and life choices contently and thus firstly for many years simply allowed myself to sink into adult depression.

What I started noticing within myself was that in my mind, in my thoughts, in the secret space within my thinking I could change how I viewed myself and others, the world and our whole reason for exiting. This was my domain where nobody could tell me differently. So I started allowing thoughts to come up explaining to me concepts around who I am and that I am actually better than what was out there in the world. This became – one could say a polarity balancing act between the nasty thoughts that brought up panic and fear in relation to me not fitting into the world, where I would immediately have the self righteous, self serving thoughts start emerging that would justify why that person or world situation is wrong and I am right. In my mind, I noticed that one could create a reality for oneself where you are safe. At some point I also connected myself to spirituality whereby I could really fuel the ideas and beliefs that I am special, different and have a specific path to walk. Only years later, obviously through introspection into those thoughts patterns – did I realize that as a young child I did not originally have these mental planning and coping structures – this only developed as my ego developed – where I was reacting to my world and others. Each time I landed in more stressful life situations such as an abusive relationship or a stressful works scenario this mind system would adapt my thinking to allow for me to cope with what I was experiencing. In the end – similar to this doomsdayprophet in the interview – I had created a vaste network of ideas, religious concepts, ental system and rules according to which I would life in my mind and be a good, appreciated person – despite the physical and figurative ‘beating’ I took from the outside world.

Therefore looking back now – I see and realize that even though if one was to ask me ‘why do I belong to this specific religion’ I would give you a very deep, meaningful answer – however the thoughts that moved first as the reality of what I was experiencing was ‘because nobody else will accept me’ or ‘well how else will I be special?’

These were difficult aspects of myself to face – because eventually I looked at this mind protection system throughout all aspects of my life – how in relationships, friendships and work I would try and live out a fantasy based on the ideals that allowed me to feel good about myself. Everybody does this – this is why we create friendships with people that are similar to us or make us feel good, and seek professions/qualifications that boost our self worth – it all comes down to wanting to serve the mind-energy of feeling good -instead of realising the simplistically that myself and each one of us are already here in the physical, equal to the physical and do not have to ‘prove’ our existence to anything, especially not the physical reality. We only do this as part of a world that we have come to accept where we compete in our mind realities with each other as if they are real.