Tag Archives: ‘self-loathing’

Demonology Forum Perspective: Get to the Core Issue

Demonology Forum Perspective: Get to the Core Issue

Original Post: http://demonology.co.za/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=715&p=1324#p1324

When I faced the point of ‘deliberately sleep in so that I can reduce the amount of time I must be awake because when I am awake I must be with myself and face myself’ – I realized that unless i want to remain the same person for the rest of my life as this pattern I am allowing, I must make a definitive change by no longer accepting the ‘patterns’ which were living expressions of myself that were not serving me. Thus I had a choice which was to continue as I was, battling and fighting with myself for the next 30+ years or I bring the inevitability of change here now and stand up within the point NOW. Therefore within choice i realized… I had no choice.

So, the next question is does one want to change. Here I suggest go to the core point around which all these patterns ‘circle’. If you observe these words: “I don’t care” – you will notice that this is one of the primary comparison points within yourself. So observe why it is that you don’t care about yourself. Without addressing these ‘core’ points around which the other patterns circle as ‘outflows’ of the original allowance – you will find that ones SF and SCS will not stand the test of time, because you are still holding onto the point of I don’t care about myself.

I suggest for a moment to simply focus on this point in detail. Write it out within specificity, look at all the layers back in time to the age that this point first started and then follow the time line through your life, where through the years you participated in and ‘added’ layers to the original point. Show in your writings for example how the point of I don’t care ‘mutated from one simple reaction or an acceptance about self into what it is now. How did the point change, who was involved, what justifications throughout the years were used to ‘fuel’ this pattern to where it is now etc…