Tag Archives: shame

2012 Gender differences and Violent crimes

(Excerpt taken from: Contemporary Criminological Issues, Department of Criminology, University of South Africa, 2009)

“Research (Bartol & Bartol 2008:380) cites that women are more likely to perceive aggression as a breakdown of self-management strategies than men are. To women,aggressive behaviour represents a personal failure to hold onto standards of behaviour which they set for themselves, and as a result they see aggression and violent behaviour in a negative light. Men on the other hand are more likely to perceive aggressive behaviour as a means of dominance and imposing control over others; therefore, they see violence and
aggression in a more positive light.”

Aggression, female submission and other traits within the human design, which are seen as normal and acceptable within our society, simply because they exist within us, are not necessarily what is best for us. If you observe the world you will notice that we allow human traits and designs to direct us, instead of realizing that we are the directive principle and do not have to accept our limitations as who we have become as our pre-programmed designs.

Within the Desteni I Process we work with stopping pre-programmed designs, as they exist from the starting point of abuse towards ourselves and others. Within the courses we find the designs behind characteristics such as ‘aggression’, ‘fear’, ‘ego’ etc., and we defuse the design through writing tools, self-forgiveness and self correction, within self responsibility. We have found for ourselves that we are not dependent on these human designs to live here in the physical as effective human beings. These designs create conflict within people, which – as you can observe in the news -create conflict within our world in how we live and treat each other.

We have walked the Desteni I Process for many years already and have successfully stopped such design characteristics which serve no practical purpose for self to live here in the physical reality, as a functional, self confident, self appreciative individual.

Within the Desteni I process I have walked through my pre-programmed design of Depression, Aggression and Anxiety, therefore I understand firstly how difficult it is to start applying oneself within the tools, however I have seen my own transformation as well as the transformation of the students participating in the courses. Each person is assigned a buddy, who supports them through their lessons and a mother buddy who oversees their progress through the courses, while at the same time assisting in the development of the necessary self-support skills, to utilize the lesson material within all areas of your life.

DesteniIProcess testimonials:

Self Support to Push Through Writing and Procrastination Backchat


Listen to The Body– How to Sort Out Acne


3 Years without Drugs


Writing as Self Support – My Fingers have a mind of their Own.


How to Overcome Fear of Spiders

Giving up sugar


Writing Oneself to Freedom!


2012: “I forgive myself… I forgive myself…”


For more blogs and videos from the Desteni I Process members: http://desteni.org/income-plan-recruiters/page:2


Demonology Forum Support: Trapping Myself

Original post: http://demonology.co.za/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=715&p=1315#p1315

I suggest also start keeping a backchat diary – which you post here. This will allow you to write out your daily patterns within backchat – which will allow you to directly see where and how to ‘fine tune your self corrective actions’ or where your self forgiveness was not specific enough.

An example of an effective backchat diary:

day 1: 26 August 2011

I was getting redy to sit down at the computer to start with project A. A thought comes up – why dont you rather let someone else do it because you dont have enough experience. I looked at this point – and realised that two days ago I had already done self forgiveness on ‘giving up’.

What happened next was that I felt this sinking experience in my stomach, that I was lying to myself and others by participating – and that even though I had applied SF on giving up – the reality is that I have not applied the tools that is covered in the material within project A – therefore I should rather back off and let someone ‘reliable do it.

I then decided to not complete the project based on this principle – therefore had decided my SF was not valid.

This is an example of how one identifies a backchat pattern, applies SF – but again allows a new pattern of backchat to direct one into not applying the original Self forgiveness and self-corrective statements.

Now one writes a – one could say ‘report’ on the above backchat pattern:

Instead of following through on the SF and SCS already applied by walking the self correction of ‘starting and completing project A’ I allowed myself to stop and I allowed myself to manipulate me with new backchat into the original point of giving up.

Therefore today’s focus is on applying SF on the allowances, as well as following through on the new pattern instead of the self correction. then I apply the self correction on this pattern by ‘starting and completing project A.

1. Therefore one has identified the new pattern (which is the old pattern slightly changed)

2. The justifications used.

3. When during the Self correction did you stop and what did you change to be able to go 4. into the new pattern- this would be a new thought that could either be the justification, a promise, a threat, a delay, a discomfort etc.

4. What Self Forgiveness Statements were not effective – here you go through the SF written out the first time and you observe how your decisions this time indicate which statements did not yet support the actuality of what you were doing. For example let us say that the first time you write SF such as:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself to other people who I am participating in within project A

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself to other people who I am participating in within project A, because I believe that they understand the material better.

When you are in the pattern again and the ‘new thought’ that comes up is ‘but you know someone who works on project A should also be able to fluently explain the material.

This is now a ‘new’ version of the backchat – used by the mind (as yourself) in an attempt to stop you from participating. Therefore you would identify that the self forgiveness above was not specific enough because you also believe that people should understand the material but also fluently explain the words.  You will now write down what SF was not specific enough according to the new events.

Now you identify in the same way what self corrective statements were not effective enough. For example if the first time you applied SF and SCS you wrote:

‘when I want to walk away from a project, I stop, I breath, I stop any and all thoughts – and I continue focusing on the project by remaining where I am and continuing with the practical steps to complete the project.

Now in this report you have realized that you did not follow through on the self-corrective statements because you did in fact find a reason, get up, walk away and not start and complete project A. So, now you will write down that sentence under: self corrective statements that were not effective.  As you did above for the Self Forgiveness you will now write out new self corrective statements for the new self forgiveness additions as well as reconfirming the self forgiveness statements not walked the first time.

Remember this is not a punishment – but instead a direct, clear way of aligning oneself to the actual points that require your participation to change.

By writing out the entire event, the decisions made, the justifications/excuses, the SF and self corrective statements not lived and the new SF/SCS/self correction to be walked  – one is clearly mapping the way and not allowing any confusion about what it is that one allows or what is to be applied within Self-Correction.